


Wonder

by sens_logi



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-26
Updated: 2012-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 22:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/496453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sens_logi/pseuds/sens_logi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We can explore the world,” he murmurs in her ear, “Just the two of us.” Takes place during the night before the Quarter Quell. Non-lemon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonder

Katniss’ eyes are closed, her head on Peeta’s lap while he fiddles with her hair. His gentle, careful gesture nearly soothes her to the point of sleep. She can’t help but smile to herself, when he claims that he’s practicing his knots.

He catches the languid, almost amused smile. It rarely adorns her lips, and even rarer when it lingers there. He stares at her for a moment longer, before he asks softly,

“What are you thinking?”

Her eyes snap open once more. Her lips part, but instead of words coming out, she draws in a wavering breath. He raises his eyebrows, and brush back some hair that has sprinkled across her forehead as the breeze picks up fleetingly.

“You can tell me,” he says, almost confidentially, a teasing lilt to his voice.

She snorts a little at that. “It’s not a secret or anything.” she counters, “It’s just… I was thinking…” she clears her throat, sounding almost sheepish.

“Yeah?” he looks at her curiously, a little bit baffled by her manner.

“It’ll always be you and me, won’t it?” She finally says. She can’t keep the wistful tone from her voice.

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He replies. He seems to understand her, even though she can’t find the words to express what she is feeling very precisely, “It’ll always be you and me.”

The two of us, thrown together by fate. Marching into that abyss of destruction once more and protecting each other, knowing that one or both of us are not going to see our home again. 

He smiles a little glumly, and runs his fingers through the dark tresses that splay across his knee like a waterfall. “Just us,” he says quietly.

“I wish we’re fighting against the Capitol,” she blurts. It comes out before her mind could put a filter to her mouth, and for a moment, panic rises within her at being heard. Not that she cares about her own safety, because she is going to die anyways. But it isn’t always just her personal safety that Snow is after.

“I think we’re fighting against the world, really.” Peeta sighs and continues to fiddle with her hair, even as his eyes stare ahead, focusing on everything and nothing. “This world… I wish I can embrace it. It’s hard to see any good in it sometimes, even know I know it’s a beautiful place. I wish I had the chance to see more of it.”

“You will,” she says, before she can stop it.

He shakes his head slightly. When he gazes down at her, his expression was tranquil, almost as if he has calmly accepted whatever scenario it is that he has created in his head.

“I won’t,” he murmurs.

She feels herself getting riled up. Irrationally angry that she is going to do everything in her power to protect him and keep him alive, while he seems to care so little for his own fate. She knows that he intends for her to be the one returning home, and she will not allow him to think of doing something stupid like sacrificing himself to keep her alive. 

“Don’t say that!” her voice comes out as a snap. She sits up abruptly, her hair scattering across her shoulders as she hugs her knees to her chest. “Don’t you talk like that, Peeta Mellark. You will go home, you hear me? I will never forgive you if you try anything otherwise.”

“Hey,” he says softly. When she turns around and directs her furious gaze at him, he gives her a look that makes her falter a little. “Please don’t get angry with me. This is our last day together. I can’t bear it if we spend it arguing with each other.”

Her features soften somewhat. She pivots her head around, and stares at the tips of her shoes morosely. “Well, you will talk no more of… dying, okay?”

She can feel, rather than see him nodding from beside her. Her eyes widen, when she feels his arms reaching around her. She lets him collect her to his chest, and his head drops against the crook of her neck, his breath warm as it wafts over her skin.

“I wish I could’ve held you more,” he mumbles. Usually, she would retreat at this kind of affection. It feels too raw and real,when they are off the cameras, and she doesn’t really know how to handle it. She is usually never the recipient of hugs and love, except when it comes to Prim. But today, she lets him hold her to his heart’s content. His arms feel good around her, and she can’t remember why she has denied herself of this for so long.

“You said you wish you could see more of this world,” she prompts quietly, echoing his earlier words, “What do you want to see more of, Peeta?”

They have seen enough of it during the Victory Tour. The memory of looking into the eyes of the dead tributes’ family members, and the vengeful chants of her name from the crowd’s lips, is enough to make her want to see as little of the world outside of her own as possible.

“What do I want to see more of?” He repeats. It takes a moment, before he gathers his thoughts and speaks up again. “Everything. Where do I begin? Beyond District Twelve and the Capitol. We haven’t seen anything at all, when they dragged us from District to District during the Tour. Just imagine,” he lowers his voice, and she isn’t sure if it is intentional or he is just getting lost in his own imagination, “What these places would be like, if we aren’t in the Games, and free to explore them on our own.”

She frowns slightly, but she refrains herself from saying anything dismissive in response. Why is he thinking such things? What’s the point?

“Just think,” he continues. She lets herself get drawn in by his words somewhat reluctantly. Although it is futile for them to envision what life may be like outside of their District and the Arena, she won’t deny him of her attention when he seems happy to be sharing what he’s thinking with her.

“The ocean in District Four… we can do nothing all day, and lounge by it. Maybe even catch the waves, but you know how terrible I am at swimming.” Her lips curl in amusement, and she tries not to imagine what might happen if someone puts Peeta in the water.

“The vast, bountiful fields in District Eleven. Watching wheat getting harvested and children playing in the fields. The lush forests in District Seven, brimming with life during the day, mysterious at night as the moon casts shadows over the leaves.”

“Peeta,” she whispers. Suddenly, her throat begins to feel a little tight. She only means to entertain his thoughts; she hasn’t expected how much the images that he has created would affect her.

“The gems and jewels that adorn the homes and shops of District One. Huge stones shattering in the mountains by powerful machines in District Two. Electronics running through gadgets in District Three that never stop functioning.” He takes a deep breath, and sounds as if he is about to say something else, before he abruptly stops himself. “Sorry. I’m getting carried away. I’ll stop. It’s stupid that I’m saying all of this, I know. I don’t want to upset you.”

“No, it doesn’t…” she tries, and stops herself when her voice catches. She is rather saddened, but she would never blame him for making her feel this way. “It’s not stupid, Peeta. It’s what you’re thinking, and I don’t want you to hold back. I’m… I’m glad you’re sharing it with me.”

He says nothing for a moment, but his arms tighten around her. When he speaks again, she is thankful that it isn’t only her voice that starts to sound funny.

“Just imagine that we aren’t here. We can explore the world. Do anything,” he murmurs in her ear, “Just the two of us.”

Katniss nods numbly. By now, there is a lump constricting her throat. For one frightening moment, she is afraid that she will make a choking sound and do something stupid like cry.

But it already seems to be too late to stop it, as her eyes burn treacherously.

Peeta looks into her face, and she tries to shy away from his deep, penetrating and tender gaze, unable to bear it. But being the perceptive one, he still senses the pain that penetrates her heart, unwittingly caused by his words, speaking of that magnificent, free world that they will never know. A world only seen through their imagination.

“Don’t cry,” he says repentantly, and nuzzles her hair in a comforting manner.

“I’m not crying,” she flushes, and lowers her head in embarrassment, “I just… have something in my eye. That’s all.”

He says nothing in response, but his arms enclosed around her more tightly, holding her securely but not crushing her. She is grateful for that. She is fooling no one.

“Peeta?” she mumbles.

“Yeah?”

“We can… explore the world.” She says hesitantly, and her hand finds its way on top of his, covering the calloused back with her own scarred fingers, “You and me.”

She feels him smile against her temple. When he gently cups her face and brings it upward, she finds herself looking into his clear and azure eyes, their depth pulling her like gravity, a force that renders her unable to look at anything but him.

“That would be wonderful,” he whispers, before he leans in and closes his lips over hers.

Her eyes drift close, when his lips break from hers, and trail across her cheek. The feelings are so delicate, almost ticklish, yet their effects are devastating. She has never felt so close to someone like this, and probably never will again, either.

“I wish I could freeze this moment right here, right now, and live in it forever.” He sighs into her neck. The vibration of his voice and feel of his breath caressing her skin make a shiver roll down her spine, an involuntary reaction.

I do, too. She thinks, when his lips find hers again. She feels oblivious to the rest of the world, when his hand brush back some stray hair blown across her forehead by the breeze that starts to pick up, keeping them in place while he kisses her slowly, carefully.

Later, they watch the sun slowly sinking into the horizon, taking the light with it lethargically but steadily. When it rises again, they will be shoved into the arena; its bloody, hellish depth glorified for the Capitol’s viewing pleasure, paved with their flesh. One by one, the tributes shall fall, littered across the earth, buried and forgotten with the winds of time.

There’s a whole world out there that she will never know. But he will, because his goodness cuts through the gray, suffocating madness like a ray of light. He is a savior in the way that she never can be. He has saved her in more ways than one, and he would still die for her, bleed for her.

She will never know love like his again, even if she lives to be a hundred years.

He will not go out of this world, because she won’t allow it. She is prepared to fight for him, until the very last breath she takes.

When his hand reaches for hers and intertwines their fingers once more, her eyes drift toward the indigo sky, swallowing the last orange and pink embers left behind by the setting sun. For her, it will never rise again after tomorrow. But for now, cocooned in his strong arms, she lets his warmth kindle her, the one and only ray of light that still remains with her even as darkness engulfs the earth. 

_Because it will always be you and me, Peeta. Just us, fighting side-by-side, against this world._

_You’re the only person who means more to me than you’ll ever know._


End file.
